Losing a loved one may hit us harder than anything we’ve ever anticipated; any sort of feeling, grief especially, isn’t something that can be rationalized easily. Emotions are pretty confusing in all stages (apart from those basic ones) and it takes a lot of time getting in touch with every segment of them.
When someone we deeply loved is taken away from us, we see it as a personal failure and hit; this fact this person will no longer exist in our lives except in memories and photos is horrifying enough to get us become depressed, to make us feel betrayed, abandoned, and empty. These negative feelings have a particular toll on the whole body and mind and pulling yourself out of it may take a lot of time and effort. Remember – grief is a very personal thing, so don’t bother with the “right” or “wrong” way to react– just react the way your mind is instructing you to.
There are people who like to process their grief themselves; there are others who seek the help of professionals. Whichever one you are of the two, we’ve collected some amazing advice that will help you deal with the overwhelming sadness you are feeling, at least a bit.
Don’t ignore your grief
The good old “I’ll just ignore it and it’ll go away” thing doesn’t really apply here, and you should never practice it, in any situation. Sweeping your feelings under the rug will only result in creating of deeper issues in the long run. Carrying on with your daily activities is understood but act like nothing happened isn’t a healthy way about this.
So, the first thing you should do is face the state of facts and admit that you’re in dreadful pain. Admit it to yourself first, and then to your friends, your support network, and then take it from there.
No, you don’t have to act strong
You’ll usually hear people say “you have to be strong, now” when in fact, this is the time when you really don’t have to be. You may think that nobody wants to see you looking sad, to see you cry or being barely able to take care of yourself but it’s okay to do that if that’s really how you’re feeling. Falling apart and breaking down in tears in the middle of your office, at lunch with business partners or in the street isn’t encouraged of course, but don’t try to act “tough”, either. If you are feeling overwhelmed with grief, ask for a few days off of work, just so you process your feelings.
Know that grief comes in ranges of emotions
To most, it may seem like they are switching back and forth between feeling very upset, and then feeling better or focusing on something else; these are all normal stages of grief, so don’t worry. These are the most common stages of loss you may be going through:
Shocked and numb
Agitation and longing
Sadness or depression
…although, the stages aren’t the same for everyone. Most people find it soothing and helpful to pay their respect by having funeral directors organize a dignified farewell for their loved one as it has a soothing effect on their grief.
Cry or don’t – it’s up to you
We’re all processing loss differently and it’s usually expected of us to cry in order to “let it out”. However, not everyone is a crier nor does everyone feel like crying will get them anywhere. Some people process their grief inherently and if you are one of those people forget you are “supposed to cry” or else but act what you feel is the best for you.
Get the help you need: Ways to Cope With Grief https://t.co/3C8Fb9OVWn
— Zigverve.com (@zigverve) March 13, 2016
Everyone suffers and everyone experiences grief at some point and go through all that you are going through, too. And while this may mean nothing to you on a personal level, knowing you are not alone in what you are feeling may be a soothing fact. Take your time…