Silhouette, Stilettos, Serendipity – Balancing relationships and materialistic pursuits

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Money matters, but does it outweigh the matters of the heart? You need money to pay the bills and buy you nice things, but it’s important that you don’t let materialist pursuits overshadow your loving relationship. Married women make up 47% of the workforce, making the need to set barriers between your love life and your work life necessary. Contemporary women are learning to strike the perfect chord for achieving the best of both the worlds: love and material pleasures.

How to have it all – Balancing your marriage and your work?

In order to strike a balance between marriage, and materialistic pleasures, you’re going to need to know how to balance your priorities. Here are 8 key aspects of creating a healthy, happy marriage while pursuing those fantastic career goals.

1. Put materialism in its place

It’s easy to make pursuing money sound like a negative trait, but the truth is everybody needs money to survive. Money is responsible for paying your pills, insurance, healthcare, putting your children through college, and being able to have fun little bonuses like family trips and date nights out on the town. The real negative issue with chasing materialistic goals is when the pursuit begins to encroach on the rest of your life, like your marriage or time spent with family.

The bottom line is that money isn’t everything. Would you be satisfied with being a provider if your mate was no longer around to provide for? Set a good example for your mate or your children by putting materialism in its place. The things that matter most in life, your family, friends, your marriage and your happiness, are free.

2. Be flexible

If your spouse says they need to talk about something important but you have work due, will you say ‘not now’ or will you give your partner your time and attention? One way to make sure your mate never feels left out or less important is to always give them time.

Remember that a happy, healthy marriage is what truly makes you happy – not material possessions. Making a date night or having one night a week where you stay away from smartphones and electronics is one way you can balance your relationship and your material goals.

3. Find a schedule that works

In order to balance your relationship and your material pursuits, you’ll need to find a schedule that works. If possible, make sure that both you and your significant other have similar working schedules. Your relationship shouldn’t feel like two ships passing in the night. In order to have a healthy, happy marriage you need to spend quality time together. This is something you cannot do if one of you is working a regular 9-5 shift while the other is working till midnight. Whenever it is in your power to do so, ensure that you and your partner are both working at the same time.

4. Communicate regularly

Communication is key for any healthy relationship. Your communication gets stronger the more quality time you spend together. Through this bonding time you will deepen trust, pair-bond, and let your brain release that cuddle hormone also known as oxytocin. When balancing relationships, it’s also important to communicate about what is and isn’t working in the relationship. Talk about the great things you appreciate about one another and do weekly marriage check-ins to ask what you can be doing better as a partner. Make sure you are doing this in a constructive way and not by going on the offensive or blaming your mate for any issues you are having.

5. Leave work at work

One of the biggest tips for how to balance relationships and material pursuits is to leave your work at the front door. Figuratively speaking, when you come home from work, don’t bring it with you. Your home life should be the time you are spending with your family and your husband, bonding and communicating. It should not be the time where you are still checking work emails, or work till late on your computer, or are glued to your phone. Your marriage mate needs to know that once you’re both home, your focus is on one another and not your work.

6. Give yourself challenging work

Research indicates that marriages work better when both partners are challenged in their work.  The feeling of success releases the powerful feel-good molecule ‘dopamine‘ into your system. This is released from the reward center of the brain and is the neurotransmitter responsible for the feelings of happiness, attention, love, and lust. The more dopamine you get, the more you crave it. This is what leads many people to become obsessed with their partners during those beginning stages of puppy love. It is also what leads people to become workaholics.

When you and your partner have access to challenging work that makes you feel accomplished, you take those good vibes back into your marriage. The result? Better sex, more productivity in the marriage, and lower likelihood of suffering from depression.

7. Celebrate your accomplishments

Pursuing material goals such as buying a new car, saving up for a vacation, or simply kicking butt in your day job are all the things that benefit your marriage. They should not be considered a negative aspect of your relationship. So when you accomplish one of your goals, make sure to celebrate! Include your mate in your celebration and talk about your shared successes both professionally and in your relationship. This will help your mate feel like they are a part of your achievements.

8. Don’t alienate your partner

One study by a career website showed that 81% of couples were unhappy with their life/work balance. Pursuing materialistic goals are fun and can feel rewarding, but don’t forget what really matters in your life. It’s your marriage. Happily balancing relationships and a career is possible if you work hard on both the things, and you’ll be glad you did this.