“How about coffee, drinks, dinner, a movie…for as long as we both shall live?” I smile to myself as I watch Tom Hanks proposing to Meg Ryan in the movie.
Rom-coms are always refreshing and delightful, but in real life, love and for that matter marriage, is not just about candle lit dinners, romantic getaways and late night chats/phone conversations. It is a responsibility, it is a commitment and it makes you realise how good/bad you are as a person…it makes you grow as a person.
However enchanting a relationship/marriage may look, reality is that we all face rough roads in it, but that all can lead to betterment, if we take care of few things :).
1. One of the main factors why relationships crumble is because in a relationship, we look for contentment and joy from other person. “When someone will love me, the world will be full of colours, the stars will be brighter and so on…” But nobody, I repeat, NOBODY can make our world more colourful and bright, if we our-self are not content, and contentment lies within us. To discover that which lies within you, MEDITATE! Nothing in this world can bring fulfilment and peace, like meditation. The joy brought by any other thing, including relationship will be short lived, so when that wears off, complains and arguments begin.
2. Another major cause of break-ups is that when we think that the other person will always be with us and thus, after a while, start taking him/her for granted, knowingly or unknowingly. We need to remember here that nothing is forever and we need to remember the impermanence of life, we are not going to be on this planet forever, so we should be grateful for every moment of togetherness. Gratefulness brings fulfillment in relationship.
3. How many times has it happened to us, that we felt a certain way about something, and after a while we changed our opinion, and after some more time, we again change our opinion (and plan) which goes to prove that, so many times, it is difficult for us to understand our own mind, but we expect that our partner should understand us ALL THE TIME! Well, it is impossible. So drop this expectation, and you both will be happier & merrier!
— Zigverve.com (@zigverve) November 2, 2015
4. If nothing works, keep patience, and this I have learnt from my husband, who has infinite patience, may be because he has been meditating daily for last 14 years!! People who meditate are able to drop things (read arguments & fights) VERY easily, they don’t hold grudges and they are so much more in the present moment, and all these are very important when you are in a relationship.
So, drop unnecessary expectations, be grateful, be content, have loads of patience, meditate, celebrate the togetherness and STAY in love!